WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

ELEMENT: WOMAN

SYMBOL: WO2

DISCOVERED: Adam. Datum Undetermined

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lb but known to vary from 100 to 550 lb.

OCCURRRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

  1. Surfaces usually covered with painted film
  2. Boils at nothing. Freezes without reason
  3. Melts if given special treatment
  4. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
  1. Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and precious stones
  2. Absorbes great quantities of expensive substances
  3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
  4. Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
  5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
  1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
  2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
TESTS:
  1. Pure specimen turn pink when discovered in the natural state
  2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS:
  1. Highly dangeerous except in experienced hands
  2. Illegal to possess more than one, although desirable
Element:
Man
Symbol:
Ah (short for a**h***, a common French root used to identify the element)
Discoverer:
Eve
Quantitative Analysis:
Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown hair, 6' 0" in length, though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches yet weigh 200+ Kg.
Occurance:
Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen. (Experimental evidence: any beach on any coast)
Physical properties:
Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore ... zzzzz) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature. Rarely found in pure form after 14th year. Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo commom ore.
Chemical properties:
All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible. May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions. Usually willing to react with what ever is available. Reaction Rates range from aborted/non- existant to Pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red and send it to react with Sa, the sex analyist) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
Storage:
Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.
Uses:
Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
Tests:
Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
Caution:
Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very malleable under correct conditions.