DICTIONARY OF DEFINITIONS

MOTHERS DAY
Nine months after fathers night
ADULTERY
The wrong people doing the right thing
KISS
An application at headquarters for a job at base
TWINS
Womb mates who become bosom pals
PYJAMAS
Article placed in bed in case of fire
ADOLESCENCE
The period between infancy and adultery
METEOROLOGIST
A man who looks at a girl and tells weather
PASSION
A feeling you feel when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you never felt before
BACHELOR
A man who comes to work from a different direction every morning
ALCOHOL
A liquid, good for preserving everything except secrets
BABY
An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other
BEACH
A place a girl goes in her baiting suit
GOODBYE
What money says when its gone
PETTING
A study of the anatomy in braille
WOLF
A man who invites a girl for a scotch and sofa
ORAL CONTRACEPTIVE
"NO"
SEX
The most fun you can have without laughing
PSYCHOLOGY
The science which tells you what you know already in words you can't understand
ECONOMIST
Someone who can tell you tomorrow why what he said yesterday wasn't true about today